10 Stages of Shopping in Primark
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1) I'm just gonna by a pair of socks.
Ahh, what an innocent, naive approach. A typical gateway line that pulls us all in.
2) This place has more tourists than Big Ben!
Literally, a little United Nations awaits you. Especially in central London stores, you are quite
certain that the French invaded London just now and their primary mission is to empty Primark
inventory.
3) Tank tops for 2 pounds?! Maybe I can buy one. (six).
It's never "one", sweetheart. You need *whatever that is* in all colours that exists and yet to exist.
4) What does she have in her shopping basket?
You try to sneak-peek into your rival's shopping basket to see if you've missed anything cool.
5) Let me try these on...- never mind.
The queue for the fitting rooms goes in spirals. Sorry, not happening.
6) I feel my migraine striking.
You might feel your blood pressure rising and your migraine starting. You almost feel like
giving up but hey- black leggings for 5 pounds. Yes please.
7) Why even are there the shopping assistants?
Seriously, what good can come from those handful of employees who work in a shop with a
customer population of 100? (Per metre squared.) Plus who needs an assistance? A Primark shopper
is a survivor.
8) Neon fur leg-warmers that I will never wear for 3 pounds each? GIMME 5.
You'll never know when you'll be in need. (…)
9) "I'm the one who knocks!"
*cough, Heisenberg reference* Seeing the long queue for the cashier horrifies you, but you have to
walk towards it with confident steps. No mercy for whatever obstacle arises in your way (aka
another woman). Remember, if you give up, they win!!
10) Regret.
Another Primark visit that started with the sole intention of buying a pair of socks ended up with a 50 pounds bill. Never again? Pf, yeah right!
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