Lucid Catalog

1) Mike and Rachel have morning sex. 

    Like literally. Every episode. Morning cuddles that lead to sex. Every. Episode.

Frankly speaking, consistent weather conditions were never the strongest point of Britain, and this fact gets more annoying when calendars hit "Summer".

If you experience most of the signs below, congratulations, you are not alone and we are sharing the not-so-great summer of good old Great Britain!

1) The moment that you think that the sun is here to stay, you realise you are wrong. Once   
     again. 

2) You feel like letting go of your umbrella is too much of a commitment and you are not ready 
     to do that yet. 
     After all, the weather caused a chronic lack of trust issues in your system. 



3) However, the native Brits don't waste to enjoy even a metre-squared area of sun, and you 
    start to see a lot of pale skins and flip-flops that are ready to get some "tan".



4) Consequently, you see more of these on the streets. 



5) The yearly tourist amount has tripled and you just crossed out Covent Garden, Leicester 
    Square and Oxford Street from your life. 



6) You really don't understand the reason behind beer gardens' sudden popularity. 

7) The newspapers are not hiding their excitement and hopes. 
     "It finally happened!"



8) Seeing instagram posts of friends who actually are living the summer, make you have 
    biological consequences e.g. nausea, low-blood pressure, dizziness, rage. 
    "Here is your 'like' asshole, here is your like."



9) Everybody is talking about a different festival and how bloody epic it will be. 
    And then you are there being like: "Naah, I'll catch up through your billion Facebook pictures 
    spreading the joy." 



10) This country has way, waaay more insects than it should have. 
11) The "summer weather" is just another excuse to drink more ice cold pints. 

The most obvious sign: I started writing again! It is that holy time of the year again; exams are done and summer is here and its signs are everywhere!


1) Liver? What is that? 
    The amount of alcohol you have consumed within the first couple of days following the last exam is  
     probably more than what you and your mates have drank your entire life (combined). 


2) All your revision notes, calculators, notebooks, unnecessary amount of pens are disappeared    
    from your room. 

1) I'm just gonna by a pair of socks.
    Ahh, what an innocent, naive approach. A typical gateway line that pulls us all in.
    
   

   
2) This place has more tourists than Big Ben!
     Literally, a little United Nations awaits you. Especially in central London stores, you are quite
     certain that the French invaded London just now and their primary mission is to empty Primark
     inventory.


3) Tank tops for 2 pounds?! Maybe I can buy one. (six). 
     It's never "one", sweetheart. You need *whatever that is* in all colours that exists and yet to exist.
   
   

4) What does she have in her shopping basket?
     You try to sneak-peek into your rival's shopping basket to see if you've missed anything cool.


5) Let me try these on...- never mind.
    The queue for the fitting rooms goes in spirals. Sorry, not happening.




6) I feel my migraine striking.
    You might feel your blood pressure rising and your migraine starting. You almost feel like
    giving up but hey- black leggings for 5 pounds. Yes please.


7) Why even are there the shopping assistants?
     Seriously, what good can come from those handful of employees who work in a shop with a
     customer population of 100? (Per metre squared.) Plus who needs an assistance? A Primark shopper
     is a survivor.

   


8) Neon fur leg-warmers that I will never wear for 3 pounds each? GIMME 5.
    You'll never know when you'll be in need. (…)
   
 
   
   
9) "I'm the one who knocks!"
      *cough, Heisenberg reference* Seeing the long queue for the cashier horrifies you, but you have to
       walk towards it with confident steps. No mercy for whatever obstacle arises in your way (aka
       another woman). Remember, if you give up, they win!!

      



10) Regret. 
Another Primark visit that started with the sole intention of buying a pair of socks ended up with a 50 pounds bill. Never again? Pf, yeah right!

1.  You can tell him to not cuddle you while sleeping when it's too warm. 
     And anyway:

   


2.  Your Whatsapp history consists of grocery lists etc. Or you don't even have a Whatsapp   
      history because you are always next to each other anyway. 



3.  You can put on a pimple cream or facial mask in front of him without even giving it a second
     thought.


4.  He knows your favourite snack(s) and always keeps them in stock at home for when you are 
     mad at him.
     


5.  You can walk around in pajamas in front of him comfortably. And pajamas definition = his   
      old t-shirts.
      




6.  He doesn't hesitate to take a piss when you are in the shower.


7.  Expressing bodily functions (yes, farting) next to each other is not an issue.




8.  Inside jokes that are completely nonsense to outsiders.




9.  You know his pooping schedule and you are not ashamed to talk about yours either.




10.You can watch the stupidest TV shows whole day long. 
Millionaire Matchmaker.. Really?!





11.You don't care who is paying what anymore. 

12.You barely go on "dates". Let's be real, you never go on dates. You just don't need it.


13.His one and foremost mission is to squeeze your pimples, and he totally does not mind it weirdly. 


14.You just sit and do your own thing while sharing a silence that's never awkward. 

15.Watching episodes of a certain TV show on your own is betrayal. Seriously. 

16.You both know each other's opinion on stuff that absolutely does not matter.



17.Back rubs and foot rubs are a part of your life.



18.His flat is equipped with your personal belongings, including: toothbrush, body lotions, hair clips, socks, favourite stuffed animal.



19.Snoring becomes so ordinary and yet you still wake him up when he does it. (Oh but you are OK with snoring next to him as well. Yolo.)




20. Sharing food is out of question. 
You can catch a grenade or jump in front of a train for your boo, but food… No.